The generator above shuffles the whole bank. Below is the rest of it, laid out block by block, so you can read the words before you paste them anywhere.
Hero lines
- Everything except the labour
- Timber cut while you wait
- Open 6:30 for the trade
Eleven thousand lines, a paint mixing desk, and somebody on the floor who has actually done the job you are about to attempt.
Free timber cutting to the millimetre, four cuts included with any board, and $0.60 a cut after that.
Tool hire by the day or the weekend from $12, with the discs, sheets and bags thrown in.
Team bios
Gordon Halstead — Owner
Gordon bought the shop in 2004 from the man who opened it and kept the staff, the layout and most of the arguments. He was a joiner for eighteen years. If you bring in a broken thing, he will try to fix it in front of you rather than sell you a new one.
Ana-Maria Ilić — Paint & decorating
Ana-Maria runs the mixing desk and has an unsettling ability to name a colour from across the shop. She spent nine years decorating before she came indoors, so she will tell you when two coats are not going to be enough — and she is never wrong about that.
Frank Osei — Trade counter
Frank opens up at 6:30 and knows what forty builders are working on this week. He orders in specials, chases the merchants when something is late, and has a quiet reputation for finding obsolete fittings that nobody else can source.
Quotes
“I went in expecting to buy a new tap and came out with a $0.40 washer and a two-minute demonstration of how to fit it. That is how they have kept my custom for twelve years.”
Bill Antonopoulos, Customer since 2013
“They cut nine pieces of 18 mm ply to the millimetre while I waited, then spotted that I had one measurement wrong and asked before cutting it. That saved me a whole sheet!”
Rachel Iyengar, Building a wardrobe
“The man on the floor told me the job needed a plumber and gave me a name. He talked himself out of a $200 sale in about forty seconds — “that is a soldered joint, do not start it on a Sunday”.”
Piet Vanderloo, Bathroom project
FAQ answers
Do you cut timber to size?
Yes, to the millimetre, on the panel saw at the back while you wait. Four cuts are free with any board and $0.60 after that. Bring your measurements written down, because we cut exactly what you tell us and the saw does not do second guesses.
Can I return a mixed tin of paint?
A mixed colour cannot go back on the shelf, so no — which is why we push the 250 ml testers so hard. Unopened stock colours come back within sixty days with a receipt, full refund, and nobody will ask why you changed your mind.
Do you hire tools out at weekends?
From Saturday morning until Monday opening for the price of a day and a half. Everything comes with the consumables — discs, sheets, bags — and a two-minute demonstration if you have not used one before. The deposit runs from $50 to $200 depending on the machine.
Which paint for a bathroom ceiling?
A moisture-resistant matt or an acrylic eggshell, though honestly the waterproofing matters less than the extractor fan. Two coats over a mist coat on new plaster. Bring the room dimensions and we will work out the litres, so you are not left with 3 l you will never open.
Closing lines
We are open 6:30–18:00 on weekdays for everybody, not only the trade, 7:00–17:00 on Saturday and 9:00–13:00 on Sunday. The saw stops half an hour before we do, and so does the paint desk.
Come in with the problem rather than the shopping list — a photograph on your phone is usually enough. Nine times out of ten it is cheaper than you feared, and the tenth time we will tell you to call somebody!
Sample copy written for this trade. The businesses, people and prices in it are invented – that is the point of placeholder text.